We Have Reached Peak Suburbia (or, We Finally Broke Down and Bought a Sprinkler)

We have a sprinkler now.

When Tank and I were house-hunting a couple of years ago, we had several non-negotiables: Three bedrooms, two baths and a fenced-in yard for our dog in a walkable neighborhood, no more than about 15 minutes from downtown Cincinnati, where we work.

We were pretty particular about a lot of things, but we weren’t that picky about the size of the yard. We have a French bulldog named Jett (as in Joan) and she doesn’t require much space. And Tank just wanted something he could mow, because apparently that’s a relaxing and enjoyable activity for him — he just likes to put on his headphones and zone out. We weren’t thinking at all about other aspects of lawn care, like weeding, seeding, watering, raking leaves and moles (we’ve got them and we’re just living with them for now, because they seem virtually impossible to get rid of from everything I’ve read).

We had less than a month to find a house, but we found one that met all of our criteria (shout-out to our awesome Realtor, Laurie Simon Goldman!) with an even bigger and better yard than we were expecting, complete with a deck. But since we moved into our house in December and everything was dead, we didn’t quite know what we were getting into until the following spring. We soon discovered that our lawn was filled with all kinds of weeds — namely clover, dandelions and this ubiquitous weed that I later learned was called Creeping Charlie.

An ethical and moral dilemma ensued. Here’s a synopsis of my internal debate:

  • Did we really want to bomb the yard with some sort of weed killer when bees and other pollinators actually feed on some of that stuff?

  • Would it be better just to mow it all down and settle for ground cover that was at least mostly green, if not actually grass?

  • On the other hand, did we really want our dog frolicking around in a bee-filled meadow?

  • Was it really the worst thing in the world to just want a nice-looking lawn, because let’s face it, we basically live in suburbia now and that’s a thing that people aspire to here?

So that first spring, we went to our local Ace Hardware and bought some Scotts Turf Builder Weed & Feed and sprinkled it around with a hand-held lawn spreader one weekend morning, and that was about it. So, not surprisingly, that experiment didn’t pan out so well. We just kept mowing the weeds down and decided to put off doing anything more until the following year, which is this year.

One day this spring, I was browsing a neighborhood Facebook group when I saw a post from someone asking about a lawn care service, and a comment from someone else offering a referral discount for one local company, PureLawn Organic Lawncare. Somewhat on the spur of the moment, I decided that I’d rather pay someone else to deal with our weeds and bare patches caused by moles and an ill-placed fire pit, at least this year, and do it right.

After PureLawn did a lawn analysis, they recommended their Bridge program, which included four treatments of an organic-based fertilizer with spot weed control every six to eight weeks — as opposed to the completely organic option — in addition to fall aeration and over-seeding. I was somewhat wracked with guilt about it, but I went for it.

The Late Bloomer Lowdown

We definitely noticed fewer weeds and more grass this year, so I’m pretty happy with the service, but we’ll have to see how everything looks next spring, and how good we are at following instructions. PureLawn just aerated and seeded the lawn, which required some work on our part — namely watering, complete with these stern instructions:

“Make sure to keep the soil moist. This is very important. Protect your investment by following these watering tips. Water 2-3 times per day at the hottest parts of the day for about 10-15 minutes per watering. Do this for 17-21 days and then go back to watering deeply and infrequently. DO NOT ALLOW THE SOIL TO DRY OUT.”

Two things about those instructions: First of all, who is going to water 2-3 times per day? Does anyone actually water that much? Who’s even home that often? Second of all, it was clear that if we were going to water at all, we’d need a sprinkler, because after about a day of watering as much as I could with a hose, I was over it.

Fortunately, I found a sprinkler for about $5 at Target (end-of-season clearance sale!) and I’ve tried to water the front and back yards at least once a day on days that it doesn’t rain. I’ve actually already noticed new grass emerging! Nex year, I’m hoping we can switch to the fully organic lawn care service (or forgo it altogether) and still end up with a lawn that’s more grass than weeds. In the meantime, I’d love to know about any other organic lawn care tips and tricks that you have.

P.S. I did my part for bees and other pollinators by planting some Victoria Blue salvia in the east end of my front garden bed this year and it’s doing a bang-up job. Here’s proof!

I’m getting better at identifying plants, but I have no idea what this butterfly (or moth?) is. If you know, let me know!

Posted while listening to: Impossible by We Were Promised Jetpacks